Frontline

Today,I find myself with more questions than answers. I find myself with more pain and sorrow than joy and happiness. I find myself struggling daily. In my life, I see chaos, disorder, and confusion. I see my life as a constant battle. I am constantly fighting on the frontline. And I am not prepared. Everyday it seems like I go into battle with a missing shield, sword, helmet, or breastplate. I do not know what my goals and dreams are. Sure, I see hope and strength in the future. But, what about now? Today, I feel lonely. I feel sad. Today, I feel like I have nobody to talk to. There is no one who wants to listen to what I have to say. Too many people have come into my life telling me what to do. They do not care what I think or what I want to do at all. Not too many people have really gotten to know the real me. I am sick of being treated like garbage. I want respect. Do not tell me how to live my life. Do not tell me what to do. This is my life, not yours. Whatever choices I make in life are MY decisions. I admit my life is not perfect, and that I need help from time to time. I need people supporting and encouraging me daily. Today, I look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes, I do not even know who I am anymore. I do sure hope things will be better in the future. My life is just one big challenging race as I try to reach the finish line. It has gotten to the point where I do not even want to live in this world anymore. It is too depressing.